What if You’re an Asshole

There’s this quote floating around the internet, and usually when I read it, I find comfort in its message, but today I had a different thought. The gist of the quote says that if someone doesn’t like you, you don’t need that person in your life. Throw them by the wayside and live your life the way you want to live it. Be unapologetically you. Great quote, right? But what if you’re an asshole? What if the way you’re living your life is affecting other peoples’ lives in a negative way. At what point does a miserable person stop to smell the roses, only to realize, as they’re bending over to get a full sense of this animate masterpiece, that they hate roses?

There are a lot of different types of assholes. Assholes who mean well but do wrong. Assholes who are cynical, and miserable with themselves, so they project their ugliness onto other people. Assholes who think they’re being funny when they insult others (who also can’t discern a fake laugh, apparently). Assholes who are completely selfish, who are unwilling to go out of their way to help another person unless it somehow benefits them. Assholes who believe their rude nature gives off an air of superiority, demanding of respect. There are even assholes that know they’re assholes. They purposely push other peoples’ buttons and bring out the worst in others, and they hold their headasses high while doing it.

My favorite assholes are the ones who do asshole things but then wonder why the only serious friendship they’ve successfully maintained is the one they formed with their temperamental housecat, Beatrice. The ones who continuously cheat on their significant other and then wonder why they always end up alone. The ones who walk into a restaurant dissatisfied, ready to hurl off their catalogue of complaints to the manager before they’ve even ordered their food, but then they wonder why they always receive bad service.

We’ve all been one of those assholes at one time or another, but my point goes back to the quote: there is room to be apologetic, to reflect on failed relationships, to ask yourself if you’re the problem, sometimes. I’m not saying you should apologize for your quirks, your bad habits, or even your mistakes, but if you burn a bridge every time you cross one then maybe it’s time to look inward.

I mean what kind of person hates roses? And what kind of person names their cat Beatrice?

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