how hard is it to ask for help when you need it?

i was tired of seeing the same images in my head images that made me feel unstable, inadequate a motif of me stumbling down a crooked sidewalk walking just a little bit farther behind the people i love asking them to slow down a few paces asking them not to leave me behind but not... Continue Reading →

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a mantra: don’t feel

people get angry at themselves for feeling. doesn't that sound absurd? i should have known better. i did know better, but i played along anyway. i let you entrap me against my infallible judgement because it felt good at the time. in the moment, when there was an opportunity to see you, to be around... Continue Reading →

lights, camera, action, etc.

some days, everything is exactly right. every movement i make has a purpose. i don't stumble. i don't misstep. i don't make strange facial expressions or accidental eye contact with strangers. everything i say is articulate. my memory is sharp and the right words just come to me. i don't stutter or mumble. i don't... Continue Reading →

i am the ocean

when life doesn't go as planned i want to hold someone responsible but i don't know who to blame. i guess this would all be easier if i prayed, but then again what difference would that make? i saw myself five years ago making myself proud whatever proud means. now it's five years later, and i'm contemplating life... Continue Reading →

just that

there are times i want nothing more than to be tossed away, poured down the drain like the unwanted coffee left stale at bottom of the pot-- sometimes i want to be just that. there are times i want to be forgotten, unthought of, the task you were going to start but never got around to,... Continue Reading →

Forgive and Forget?

Forgive and forget. It's a phrase we've all used, whether we've said it to ourselves or to someone else, used it as a mantra, or as a consoling statement for a friend when we weren't sure what else to say. It's overused isn't it? Does anyone actually take the advice? When was the last time you completely... Continue Reading →

What if You’re an Asshole

There’s this quote floating around the internet, and usually when I read it, I find comfort in its message, but today I had a different thought. The gist of the quote says that if someone doesn’t like you, you don’t need that person in your life. Throw them by the wayside and live your life... Continue Reading →

I’ve been Bargaining with God

I’ve been bargaining with God but I’m not grieving. Nothing bad has happened to me. I have nothing to complain about. Do you ever do that? Do you ever ask God just to let everything stay exactly the way it is right now? Not because anything particularly great is happening in your life, but because... Continue Reading →

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